Really Retiring

Well, I've done it: gone to the social security office and applied for retirement. I should be getting those social security checks and pension checks fairly soon. I'm warming up to the idea, and this past week as I wasn't working I cleaned house (NOT my favorite thing!) and did some organizing of papers and "stuff." I still have some organizing to do, but when that's done there will just be cleaning, and then? I have several ideas of things I want to do with my time, but haven't settled on which ones will most occupy me. Getting back to making baskets, and taking more time to practice my dulcimer are two of those things. I also plan to do some more volunteering -- more than my once-a-year stint at Old Songs Festival in Altamont, NY. I'd like to help out with fund drives at my favorite public radio station, WAMC, and perhaps volunteer to read stories to children, either at the public library or at the local elementary school. That's the part of teaching that I miss.

There's also Caffe Lena who are always looking for volunteers. We were there Friday night for a concert by the Jamcrackers, Peggy Lynn, Dan Duggan, and Dan Berggren. They are among my favorite traditional musicians, along with John Kirk, Trish Miller, Rick Bunting, Susan Trump, and Christopher Shaw and Bridget Ball.

But for now, I'm taking my time. I have one preaching "gig" coming up, and there's still the possibility of a part-time pastorate. I'm going to try to be patient as I wait for some divine guidance as to what directions to take. I'm not ready for a rocking chair yet!

A potpourri of thought

I've been doing some more thinking about retirement. The latest is that I think I will be applying for social security as well as pension. I will be of "FRA" (full retirement age, in social security parlance) in less than a year, after all. And I'm anticipating the independence of not working full-time. I know that finances will be tight, but then they've been tight for as long as I can remember, so what's new?

It's been awhile since I have had more than a couple of weeks without preaching on a Sunday morning, and I'm looking forward to listening to somebody else's sermons. Sometimes, anyway. I don't think the Holy Spirit is through with me yet.

Of course the endless topic of speculation the last few days has been Chelsea Clinton's wedding downstream in Rhinebeck. I must say that every time I see pictures of Chelsea and Bill Clinton together, with the father-daughter bond that they obviously enjoy, I get a bit teary. It's that old parent-child tenderness that used to make me teary watching certain situation comedies (Father Knows Best, My Little Margie, and other oldies like that) even when I was a child. Part of it comes from missing my own father, after 26 years, and my own mother, after 36 years... to think that I have now lived to be four years older than my mother at her death is amazing to me. I'm sure that Hillary and Chelsea also have a close relationship, but the father-daughter thing is different.

I never gave my Dad the opportunity to escort me down the aisle. He would have been proud. But he was proud of me, anyway -- and let me know it while I was in seminary, after a first career as a teacher. I'm so grateful he was more forthcoming with praise after I reached adulthood than he had been when I was growing up. We grew into a close and loving relationship, for which I'm thankful.

So ... I'm sure that when I see a picture, finally, of Bill Clinton escorting Chelsea in her wedding dress (so much speculated upon!), I'll shed a few more tears: for tenderness, for Daddy-daughter affection, for all the years I've spent without my Dad and Mother. Such is life. But there are so many unhealthy parent-child relationships that I can only thank God for Chelsea's and Bill's, and for my parents' and mine.

Contemplating Retirement

I'm applying for retirement, not because I want to stop working, but because I want to continue working but not full time. I need the pension, since I'm still paying on the mortgage on my house. Still, this will be a big move. I just saw Ringo Starr on television, talking with Diane Sawyer on his 70th birthday. He said when we're in our twenties we never think we're ever going to be as old as 70. Well, I'm not there yet, but I do wonder sometimes how I ever got to be as old as I am!

I have a list of things I want to do after retirement: volunteer on fund drives for my favorite radio station (WAMC in Albany), offer my services to the local public library and/or elementary school to read to children (and listen to the children read), get back to basket weaving, spend more time playing my dulcimer and my piano. Friends who are retired, though, say that their time gets filled with many other things. So maybe the adventures I discover after retirement will be surprises. That's okay too.

Reaching a milestone like retirement makes me wonder at life's brevity, its meaning, what I might do to make a difference with the time I have left. I have been a teacher and a minister, and I know I've affected many other people's lives. I constantly have the feeling that I haven't done nearly as much as I might have, but it's hard in the midst of life to know how it has all stacked up. I guess all I can do is keep trying, and keep praying that I'll continue to grow in grace and in faith, as long as I live.